2/14/07

Making your own luck

Making your own luck: What does this phrase mean? I'm no expert, but I have noticed an interesting pattern among my friends and acquaintances over the years. People who view themselves as victims, who create drama, and who expect the worst, seem to have no luck.

People who are in charge of their lives, who have a plan B, whose world does not whirl out of kilter because of a setback, and who are open to many possibilities, seem to create their own luck.

It's all a matter of attitude, isn't it? Either you view life as a challenge to be tackled head on, or you allow yourself to be controlled by others.

During my divorce, I could have chosen to view myself as a victim. Hey, plenty of other things have gone wrong in my life, but most people who meet me wouldn't get that impression. They see a lively, humorous, go-getter, and someone who loves to solve problems. They think my life has been a piece of cake, and compared to some others (the Lost Boys of the Sudan, for example) it has. But I have experienced many sad losses, some of them quite major and life altering. Haven't we all?

When Bob left, I could have crawled into a hole and just died, that's how awful I felt, but I knew that the only way to survive divorce was to just keep on plowing through and make the best of each day. Of course I had set backs. I am not super woman. But I also felt an unfamiliar surge of power as I faced my husband squarely, not backing down on some areas of extreme importance to me.

My advice to you? Stop allowing your ex or your ex-to-be to play with your emotions. Take charge of your life and review all the options you have. Even if they are slim, you are in control of your attitude towards the situation. Don't react to unreasonable behavior. Just turn around and walk away.

If you have children it is even more important that you take the high road. As a child of divorce, believe me when I say, they will thank you for your good judgment (and their good luck) some day.

1 comment:

Kayla said...

Your words speak to those of us who have been or are going through the pain of divorce. While we each have our 'own' story, there is a common thread woven between all of us. It gives me great peace and courage to know I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing your journey with such grace, authenticity and wisdom.

Namaste