You are in control

I've discovered an enormous life lesson. There are so many things you can't control. The weather. The behavior of others. Fate. Your genetic makeup. Random intersections. Etc.

But you can control your attitude. You can choose to be empowered. You can also choose to be a victim, but why?

If you need sympathy and stroking, then give yourself permission to sit on your pitty pot for 10 minutes. Ten minutes. That's all. But then you've got to get off and face the day squarely.

Nothing turns friends off more than someone who continues to whine and cry, and is always full of self-pity. You might receive initial support from friends and relatives using those tactics, but after a short while the stable ones will drift away, tired of the ongoing chaos and drama.

Anchor yourself during this difficult time and find an area in your life that you can control. Do something that will give you an emotional rest, if even for a few minutes. Cooking elaborate rice dishes. Tending your garden. Pursuing your career or a degree. Knitting. Painting. Writing your thesis. Training your dog. Raising your beautiful children.

During the worst times of your divorce, you still have control over your attitude. You can choose to face the situation with dignity and courage, and, yes, even humor. And don't ignore your inner voice. If you listen to your instincts and remain true to yourself, you'll experience a smoother ride during this emotional storm and emerge a stronger person.

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