The previous post sat for too long by itself. Sometimes one's busy schedule gets in the way. The voter who agreed that it was "none of my business" how soon my friend's husband began to date was correct.
It is none of my business.
I was merely reacting to my own situation. Six months after Bob left (and deep into our marriage counseling sessions) he began to seriously date a new woman. She would give him expensive gifts. When I noticed his new watch or shoes, he would lie and assure me that he bought them for himself.
Six months after our divorce he married this person.
So I learned rather harshly that you can be replaced seamlessly and without too much effort. This happens when you leave a job , with friends who have moved on, and as I learned much later, with spouses. While I often think about my ex when I go to a place that we used to visit for enjoyment together or see a movie that we particularly liked, I know without a doubt that he wastes no time thinking about me at all.
Just because you are divorced, should you sweep everything - even the good memories - under the rug? I choose to remember. I don't know where I am exactly going with this, except to say that it is ok to recall the good times you once had with your former spouse. Just don't let those wonderful moments cloud reality and prevent you from moving forward.
It is none of my business.
I was merely reacting to my own situation. Six months after Bob left (and deep into our marriage counseling sessions) he began to seriously date a new woman. She would give him expensive gifts. When I noticed his new watch or shoes, he would lie and assure me that he bought them for himself.
Six months after our divorce he married this person.
So I learned rather harshly that you can be replaced seamlessly and without too much effort. This happens when you leave a job , with friends who have moved on, and as I learned much later, with spouses. While I often think about my ex when I go to a place that we used to visit for enjoyment together or see a movie that we particularly liked, I know without a doubt that he wastes no time thinking about me at all.
Just because you are divorced, should you sweep everything - even the good memories - under the rug? I choose to remember. I don't know where I am exactly going with this, except to say that it is ok to recall the good times you once had with your former spouse. Just don't let those wonderful moments cloud reality and prevent you from moving forward.
Ok, let's get off this subject for a moment. Here's a neat website: www.Meez.com. You can create an avatar, much like I did, and place it on your blog, IM, My Space, or website. It's a fun and uplifting exercise and will keep your mind off your problems for a pleasant hour or so.
1 comment:
As ever Vic, wise counsel. I identify with the feeling of being replaced . I also feel a sort of aching void for all those good times we had together (more than a third of my life) that I can't share with anyone. Can it be that he simply shed them and moved seamlessly into the present? Probably.
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