Relieving the Stress of Divorce

A friend is going through a stressful period just now. She asked me for advice. What to tell her? Those of us going through divorce know that sometimes there's no getting away from the situation. Life's responsibilities press upon us and, as adults, we must meet them. Even as we are feeling at our lowest, we are asked to make major, life-changing decisions. During such a stressful time, anxiety attacks are not uncommon.

To my benefit, I have discovered that getting away from a stressful situation is helpful. When I felt bad, I would call friends in a nearby city and invite myself over. Even a short visit would give me the respite I needed. Often I would return home feeling refreshed, as if I had been gone for a week.

I also recall going to a day spa with two other girlfriends after the breakup of my first serious post-divorce relationship. We went to the Diva Den and spoiled ourselves, getting a pedicure and massage, and dining out and shopping afterwards. For just one day the tight ache in my chest left, and I believe those perfectly manicured nails helped me to get through a very dark time.

Do not be too proud to ask your friends for help, and be creative. Do you have young children but no money? Ask a friend with children to look after yours for an afternoon, and offer a swap time, giving her an opportunity to escape when she needs time alone.

Are you working three jobs and find yourself dismayed because your yard is a mess, as in my instance? Then treat yourself to professional yard service. The cost is well worth the reduction in your stress level. The same goes for your house. I called Merry Maids and gladly paid the $160 to have my house cleaned from top to bottom. At the time I was earning an average of $10/hour. I didn't care. The cost was worth the joy I felt when I stepped inside a clean house.

If you truly do not have the money, then set up a system of barter and trade with friends who are also going through a challenging time.

Mind Tools is a site that will help you understand how important it is to train your brain into thinking good thoughts and relieve it of stress. Click here to find some tools that have worked for me and others. Good luck!

1 comment:

FI0NA said...

I love your wise consistent advice, and you keep it coming, always a new angle. Thanks.