Taking Stock

Ok, I feel better now. My two weeks of self pity are over. I've taken stock and this is my inventory:
  • My brains, talent, and health are intact.
  • I have a fabulous and supportive family, plus my parents are still alive
  • Two wonderful 'adopted' boys are living with me - they need me and I need them.
  • I've adopted a sweet, loyal, and loving dog.
  • My once in a lifetime miracle job keeps me energized, interested, and interesting.
  • Good luck comes my way time and again. (A local newspaper wants me to elaborate on an article I wrote for a university publication.)
  • I have as many friends as I can possibly want.
The only missing item is a mate, but at this stage of my life I am not so sure I want one. I've tried dating only to discover that I rather like my independent lifestyle. Besides, it's so exhausting to meet new men.

Next week would have been my 35th wedding anniversary. I realized as I looked at my old wedding pictures with a niece who is getting married this fall that the happiness I felt on my wedding day remains undiminished. When I look at the ecstatic glow on that fresh young face I realized that no one can take away that wonderful memory. Just days after my wedding I moved to a new city, away from family and friends, and it took three years for me to become adjusted to my new situation. But adjust I did, and then happiness came my way again.

It's been almost seven years since my divorce, and the pain of that event keeps receding. Oh, sure I dread being alone in my old age, and I still have spurts of intense anger (witness the previous two posts) but marriage is no guarantee that your spouse will be around, no matter how happily married you are. So I am going to keep taking stock whenever anger robs me of my contentment. When I itemize all that I still have I realize that for the most part life is still good.


FI0NA said...

That's lovely

Mom of 3 said...

Hi Vic,

First an apology. Last year, when I last updated my blog, you had tagged me right after I whined about how no one ever tagged me. And I didn't respond.

But I love reading your blog and keep checking for updates. I've been perusing your archives and I can relate so well to what you've been through. I've commented in the past on your blog about the absent Dad issue which is such a painful issue for me too.

I just started up with my blog again because I'm grappling with relationship issues. Instead of going through the stages of recovering from the death of my marriage, I've been pursuing other relationships instead. Coward's way out, I know. So I'm really not anywhere ahead than I was two years ago.

So thanks to you for being someone I can relate to and can learn from.