9/23/11

Tips on Dating as a Senior

Tips on Dating as a Senior is an article written by guest writer, Allison Gamble:

Divorced seniors often find themselves overwhelmed when they attempt to reintegrate themselves into the dating world. It doesn’t take a psychology degree to know that dating can be challenging in and of itself, but if you are older and newly single, it may seem as though there are numerous obstacles to overcome. Some seniors may become so frustrated at the dating process that they may give up or avoid dating altogether. An open mind and the adherence to a few simple guidelines can help mean the difference between dating frustration and success.

As the saying goes, a first impression is always a lasting impression. Your initial chitchat can mean the difference between a second date or an early departure.

First date dialogue that contains hours of criticism or reminiscence about relationships past is an indicator that you are not ready to move on to a different relationship. It is important to give anyone that you are dating a fair chance for a trusting relationship. If you find yourself unable to trust anyone, you may want to do some evaluation and try to understand why. If you are unable to make adjustments to allow yourself to love and trust again, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can help you get over the hurt and pain from your prior relationship, make you stronger and enable you to start anew.

If you are newly divorced, avoid jumping into a serious relationship too soon, or giving the impression of it during your first date conversation. It's easy to scare someone off by moving forward too quickly. Furthermore, a relationship on the rebound is almost never successful in the end, and you could ruin your chances of long-term success. Allow yourself adequate time to heal before jumping back into the dating pool in order to ensure that you are emotionally ready and available to begin a new relationship. Make sure that you have truly let your old relationship go, and that you are now ready and able to start anew. This will create the best chances for success and help ensure an enjoyable first date.

Maintain your expectations. It is not uncommon to envision perfection, particularly when reentering the dating world after a divorce or the death of your spouse. Always bear in mind that searching for perfection will leave you lonely and frustrated – nobody’s perfect. It might be helpful to create a small wish list of traits that are important to have in a mate, as well as those that are incompatible with your lifestyle. However, interrogating someone on the first date to see if they meet your criteria is a no-no. Allow the conversation to flow naturally, and take your time getting to know someone.

According to the Washington State Office of the Attorney General, online dating has become an extremely popular option for seniors, but can be risky . Online dating is a great way to meet a variety of new and interesting people; you can weed out suitors with whom you share common interests, who look interesting or attractive, and it’s a low-pressure way to dip your toes back into the dating world since you don’t have to worry about face-to-face rejection.

But the Internet also comes with its own share of pitfalls. Internet safety should be carefully observed during any online Internet interactions. Use caution prior to meeting someone that you have met on the Internet so that your safety is not compromised during your meeting. It can be too easy to reveal too much private information about yourself, which could compromise your safety. Disclose information slowly as you gain trust in the person you are chatting with, especially during an initial conversation.

If you have a special hobby or interest that you enjoy, you may want to consider joining some type of group or hobby club in order to give you the opportunity to find someone who shares common interests. Whether it's dancing, bingo or museums that tickle your fancy, associating yourself with the right group will increase the odds that you will find someone compatible. Finding someone who has similar interests can help create a foundation for first date bonding that can easily be expanded into something more. If you don't have any hobbies, consider trying something new to help occupy your time and give you the opportunity to meet new people. Often, just being able to leave the house and socialize can be one of the most challenging aspects of dating, no matter the age.

Try not to be afraid to venture out into the murky waters of dating. You already have the life experience that you need to know what makes you happy and what you enjoy. Use this wisdom to your advantage while playing the dating game and choosing a partner. Your life experience and knowledge make you rich, and will benefit you in the long run, so sit back, relax and enjoy the many pleasures that come with your new availability.

Allison Gamble has been a curious student of psychology since high school. She brings her understanding of the mind to work in the weird world of internet marketing. http://www.psychologydegree.net/

6 comments:

Utah Divorce said...

I enjoyed reading the blog so much. Thanks for sharing!

George said...

Thanks for the tips. A truly tough time for anyone.

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Webmaster said...

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african girl said...

I do agree with you that online dating has become an extremely popular option for seniors, but can be risky . Online dating is a great way to meet a variety of new and interesting people; you can weed out suitors with whom you share common interests, who look interesting or attractive, and it’s a low-pressure way to dip your toes back into the dating world since you don’t have to worry about face-to-face rejection.

I love reading your blog and I really agree to all the tips you mention earlier. It will surely help those people who are a fresh victim of divorce life.